I definitely like the idea of AA and their whole philosophy on paying fair wages and how they treat their employees and all that. Oh, except for the fact that CEO Dov Charney is a totally sexually harassing nightmare. Yeah, I wrote a paper on him for a class last year and it's enough to make you want to vom, considering he looks like this:
I mean, really.
But this isn't about Dov Charney. No, this post was inspired by an ad that featured this new and exciting article of clothing:
Ah, Le Disco Pant. Thank you so much, American Apparel, for bringing back this timeless piece. Not only do I want to see hipsters on the reg, but I want to see them wearing high-waisted, Nylon Spandex pants. Mmm, I can see the droves of camel toes now! More, I need more!
YES. Even better. The best part about this little number (which is a "Fishnet Halter Bodysuit," officially. I call it a big fucking mistake, but that's just me) is actually the comments in the Review section. A user so aptly named jersay seemed a bit perplexed about buying the "bodysuit" and wanted to ask some questions, which of course no one ever gives a fuck to answer because, come on, it's the American Apparel online store review section. She just wanted to be sure! Anyway:
"is the mesh so large your nipple will pop out? how sheer is the back? i dont know how i feel about wearign this to the beach if m niple is going to pop out :/"
A piece of advice for my girl (hopefully, I'm staying posi) jersay: If you are concerned enough about your nipple popping out through fishnet to put a distressed emoticon at the end of your comment, I'd go with not wearing this. Let alone buying it. However, another user named Hotness (!) absolutely loved this. She sang her praises:
"OMG I bought two of these and I wear them to the clubs all the time..... I am guaranteed to take a new guy home every time I wear it. Girls dont be afraid to try something new and wear these out!!"
A fiesty one! Teach me how you get so many new men and how you get them to go home with you, for sex I am assuming, the night you meet them! Oh, wait, you're practically fucking naked from the get-go.
Moving on:
So, wtf is this supposed to be? This just doesn't seem quite right to me. It needs a little more... Oh, this:
There you go, perfect. Just when I was wondering how I could best fit into a Sisqo video, the mavericks at American Apparel came to my rescue! But this last item is by far the most unsettling, to me:
Okay, so these are supposed to be pants. These. Are. Pants. Ahh, damn you, American Apparel! You get me everytime. How could this possibly be flattering, worn in this manner? But I guess they're not, considering they're supposed to be high-waisted pants? Stop playing games, AA.
Now they are trying to hypnotize people into buying this, as seen by this:
Staring too long gives me the feeling that I am plunging head first into a black hole. I don't ever want to wear something that turns my vagina into a black hole. Nor to ever wear something that makes me look like I would have crazy x-ray results.
Come on, American Apparel. Get it together!
Embarrassing.
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